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Captain America saved the world twice now and all it cost him was two Bucks


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here’s to scott mccall, the boy who was bitten against his will, the boy who was manipulated by his assailant into nearly killing his friends and family, but chose to love and survived against all odds

here’s to scott mccall, the man who accepted his new form, grew into it and used his abilities to help people, to form alliances with those who previously sought to kill him despite all odds

here’s to scott mccall, the character who you hate, but would still save your life if you were in danger and tend to your wounds while you spit at him and claim that he is not worthy of your attention or love

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HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)

BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote shakespeare’s plays!

so in order to mark this SERIOUS and LEGITIMATE issue, i have compiled the most likely theories in this comprehensive list:

  • in julius caesar, cassius says, “this is my birthday; on this very day cassius was born.” on that same day, cassius DIES. guess who else was not only born on april 23, but died april 23?? that’s right, shakespeare. english playwright? or ancient roman ghost bent on revenge? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
  • shakespeare married a woman called anne hathaway. BATMAN ALSO MARRIED ANNE HATHAWAY. have you ever seen shakespeare and batman in the same place at the same time??????
  • lived in london? totally encountered prostitutes several times? probably spoke english? william shakespeare……. or JACK THE RIPPER
  • uh, excuse me, an uneducated glovemaker’s son couldn’t possibly have written the 38 works of art attributed to shakespeare. please consider instead this picture of a cat pushing another cat in a shopping cart. you’re welcome.
  • ””“”“”“”“”“president obama????”“”“”“”“” more like PRESIDENT WILLIAMSHAKESPOBAMA. wake UP, america
  • aliens.

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Scarlett Johansson by Craig McDean for Vanity Fair May 2014

Scarlett Johansson by Craig McDean for Vanity Fair May 2014

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ayo are you really gonna bring up vet!scott and derek meeting at a knitting club and not expect me to fall over ???

vet!scott totally using years of making friendship bracelets with stiles and always finishing his knitting projects first, quickly becoming the intructor’s favorite. yoga teacher!derek who takes up the class because its in the same community center he teaches and laura recommended that he start “creating” something. derek shyly approaching scott and asking for pointers. scott taking him under his wing, them meeting for coffee to discuss knitting but it turning into cute 101. lots of blushing and fumbling compliments. derek coming over one weekend to knit and falling asleep on scott’s couch; their arms lightly on each other’s chest, knitting supplies settled on the coffee table, breaths lightly on each other’s cheeks.